I am faced with a situation that requires your help. Here in Nepal it is not customary to hug each other. I started hugging the kids from the orphanage about one week ago when I say goodbye. At first they were very stiff but now they are more relaxed. While speaking to the VSN coordinator last night he advised me that hugging is not their custom and I should cease. My dilemma is that these children do not receive any type of physical contact or affection. The only physical contact they are familiar with is punishment, as hitting is acceptable as punishment. I strongly believe that I should continue hugging them as it is my custom and my way of showing them that I care about them.
Please let me know your thoughts about this I would appreciate your feedback.
Should I continue? or should I stop?
Please let me know your thoughts about this I would appreciate your feedback.
Should I continue? or should I stop?
4 comments:
I'd go with "stop". I think that you need to find ways to show you care that are culturally appropriate for the kids themselves. It is respectful to them and to the new home where you now find yourself. I'm sure your hope for them is to grow up to be healthy, happy and well-adjusted members of their community. I expect that not hugging may be just one of the adjustments you will be making as you acclimatize culturally! Your actions over time will speak clearly of your care for them, I'm sure.
I agree with CDF... out of respect for their culture you should stop. I know it can't be easy because of how caring and loving you are, but you can't fix them/ make them better/ take away their pain/ change their past or rescue them. Keep in mind that just by being there with them you are making a difference in their lives. You are already bringing joy and comfort to them in ways they may never would have if you weren't a part of their lives.
I have to agree as well. Stop! You have to remember you are in their country and immersed in their culture. I'm sure you will find many ways to show them how much you care without hugging. A simple pat on the shoulder and kind words will go very far with these children. Heck, they probably already know you care a great deal.
Thank you so much for your thoughts, I will stop, but I will offer an explanation as to why I was doing it and why I stopped. It is a learning opportunity for all of us. Miss you all.
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